Hard to believe two months have passed already. Naia has changed so much and we have been through a roller coaster ride with her. She has been a much bigger challenge than Jack ever was. She was not a great sleeper and this escalated to the point where she was screaming for most of the night, not fussing, but actual red-faced body-contorting screams. We had her on meds for reflux but that didn't help a whole lot. I finally reached a breaking point in my frustration after about a week of only getting 1-3 hours of sleep every night and decided to try a hypoallergenic formula. Saturday morning I went out and bought some and I stopped nursing her. By Sunday night we had a different baby. We also stopped trying to force her to sleep in her crib and allowed her to sleep in the swing in the living room. One of us stays on the couch to keep an eye on her. We realize that this isn't ideal but we were desperate for sleep. Sunday and Monday nights she fell asleep around 9:30 and then woke at 2 and 5 to eat. No screaming. At. all. Wow. Then last night she slept from 8:30 until 3:30 and went right back down again until 6:30. Holy cow. I don't know what I was eating that bothered her but the improvement is unreal.
Anyone who has been reading my blog for a while knows that I struggled with nursing Jack. I had plenty of milk but I really didn't enjoy it. I had hoped things would be different with Naia but I had the same problem. While I was nursing I was a mess. I was depressed and tired and every time she appeared hungry I would get a feeling of dread, like "not AGAIN." I felt selfish about weaning just because I didn't like it but I realize now how miserable I was. I think her intolerance was a good thing because it gave me the push to wean. Now I am a happier mom. I haven't cried in almost a week. I was crying daily, multiple times a day in fact and even talked to my midwife about PPD. Maybe that is what is was or maybe it was just hormones. It doesn't really matter why but I am better now and I am able to enjoy my baby. She is happier too now and coos and smiles instead of screams. The only thing I am sad about is that I didn't feel comfortable going back to the breastfeeding support group we had been attending weekly. I had gotten to know some of the other moms but didn't get any contact info since I assumed I would be back. I am too chicken to show up now and have just cut my losses. It did occur to me that there should really be a formula feeding support group. I don't want to get on my soapbox but there is a lot of pressure to breastfeed but it doesn't work out for everyone. Those of us who choose formula should have a place to meet too. We need to company of other new moms just as much as nursing moms do.
Of course I have about 150 oz of breast milk in the freezer so I am going to try to mix a little in with her formula in another few days to see how she does. We are also going to move the swing into her room and gradually try to wean her into her crib. For now we are just happy to be sleeping.
She had her 2 month checkup today and weighed 11 lbs 8 oz. She is a munchkin compared to her brother who weighed 14 lbs at 2 months! She is very alert and will watch as we walk across a room, even turning her head to get a better look. She loves her Dad and now smiles when she sees him.
Jack is getting used to being a big brother and thankfully managed to sleep through all of her screaming. I have no idea how he did that but I now believe it when they say kids don't hear smoke alarms. I should dedicate a whole separate post to Jack and the awesome kid that he is. I will say that he nearly broke my heart over the weekend. I was struggling with the decision to wean and there were some tears. Nick took over so I could take a nap and told me that while I was asleep Jack asked if he could bake me a cake to cheer me up. I love that kid.
I go back to work in 3 weeks and I have mixed feelings about it. I am looking forward to getting back to my job but I will miss my little girl. We are done having kids so I am trying to save each moment with her (except for maybe a few nights!). It doesn't hurt that the weather this week has been perfect. I am going to blink and it will be snowing and she will be sitting in a high chair mashing bananas in her hair.